Stop Self Sabotage Before it Starts
Slippery behaviors are actions we engage in that can lead us down a path toward self sabotage. Slippery behaviors behaviors can lead us to use or drink because we are lessening our capacity to show up nourished, rested and ready to meet the demands of our day to day.
Often, slippery behaviors start small. They start with a missed hour or two of sleep, a forgotten meal or a skipped workout. Slowly the slippery behaviors start to stack and we find ourselves scrolling late into the night, skipping days of workouts in favor of lounging on the couch and eating whatever we find on the go. We find ourselves tired, hungry, agitated and full of stagnant energy. Our capacity begins to diminish. We start feeling stretched and stressed. We start looking for a way to separate ourselves from the present moment. And that is when we make a choice.
What if, instead of waiting until we reached the end of our capacity, we gave ourselves the space to recognize our slippery behaviors before they started to stack?
Slippery behaviors highlight an unmet need or a big emotion that we aren't acknowledging. Maybe it's a need for connection, support, separation, control or space. Maybe it's a need to be seen, heard, understood or accepted. The best way to find out what is behind a slippery behavior is to bring awareness to it. Creating space to get curious will provide data around the thoughts, emotions and environments that define a behavior.
I'm curious what information that data would offer that we could then use to create non-negotiables to support ourselves. A non-negotiable is a concrete element in your life that demonstrates support for a value or need. Building non-negotiables into our day to do create stable touch points that we can rely on. They cut our decision making load down and they provide regular opportunities for us to check-in with ourselves.
Example:
Slippery behavior - rushing
Need = space + control
Big emotion = helpless/anxious
Meet the need = caring for myself through structure, being intentional with my time, building in boundaries
Non-negotiable - build out my calendar with decompression times built in on a weekly basis, starting each day with reflection time to set up/plan my day - practice regular check-ins for energy levels
Prompts:
What is slippery behavior? How would you define it? What data points do you have from your own life?
What unmet need/big emotion is this slippery behavior highlighting?
What would it look like to meet this need/big emotion in an empowering/healthy way?
What non-negotiable can be created from this information?
What came up for you as you created space to play with the questions above? What did you notice about your own pattern of slipper behavior? I'm curious if you noticed any feelings of resistance or empowerment.
What would change if you chose to stop self sabotage before it starts?
Reach out in the comments.
